Welcome to a special Mitch Being Honest: Date Night Edition. Actually the fact that it’s date night really has nothing to do with what I’ll be mentally disgorging today, I’ve never been any good at coming up with a good introductory paragraph and just needed a jumping off point. While we are on the subject Mrs. Mitch and I are having a much needed date night with friends tonight. Sushi and a movie are on the agenda. Tonight will be a momentous date night indeed. For the first time in over a decade I will be wearing, pause for dramatic effect, you may want to sit down for this, I will be wearing a sweater. I threw caution to the wind and I’m bringing it tonight. I shaved, trimmed “El Cabra” (Spanish for “goatee”, yes I have enough self regard to name my facial hair as a separate entity) and gave myself a light spritzing of the extra special date night cologne. Caution ladies, Mitch has the safety off tonight, he’s a loose cannon, a maverick, goes by his own rules and is this close to having to hand in his sexy badge to the Chief, I will be a Lethal Weapon of handsome. You were warned.
Have you ever read a magazine or news article, or saw something on TV and said “Pfshhhh, I could do that! How hard can it be?” I was reading an advice column the other day and this exact thought occurred to me.
Welcome to the inaugural Mitch Being Honest advice column I call “Ponderances with your host, Mitch” (The title sounds a lot more new age and spiritually profound if some Enya is playing as you read it.)
Mitch, every family get together we have always ends up the same way. All the women in the kitchen doing the cooking and cleaning while the men sit in the living room watching football. It even happened this past Sunday dinner and I’m sick of it. In this modern day and age, should the cooking and cleaning not be shared equally among the sexes?
-Did the Cowboys cover the spread? I got a fifty spot riding on that game.
Mitch, I’ve been career searching for a while now and I just can’t seem to find my place in the work world. I want a job that is meaningful and fun, that fulfills me and is challenging. I need help navigating a career path. How do I find my dream job?
-First, jobs are called jobs for a reason; they’re jobs. If work was supposed to be fun it wouldn’t be called work in the first place. Two, very few people in this world get to do their dream job, the majority of us are not doing what we set out to do initially. My dream job when I was a kid was to be Superman, until I found out that he was not a real guy, and that being Superman was not a real job. After that soul crushing blow to my childhood innocence at the age of six, all jobs seemed to pale in comparison. If I couldn’t be Superman the coolest guy on the planet, with the coolest costume, and coolest super powers any other job seemed like a moot point. After that I never really had a dream job. In sum here’s my job advice. Don’t put too much pressure on finding a dream job. Find a job that you enjoy most of the time (face it, sometimes you just won’t enjoy work), with people you enjoy working with (you’re going to spend 40 hours a week with these people), and if you don’t like the job you’re doing go do something else sooner than later. If you need something more fulfilling outside of your day gig I recommend maybe starting up something creative you can do yourself. Maybe your own blog? Then possibly playfully harassing all your friends, family and coworkers to read the blog under a thinly veiled guise of a one name web persona? Not that Mitch has ever done that sort of thing.
Mitch, the other day my boyfriend and I had a really big fight. It all started when I told him I wanted him to show more interest in my hobbies. So I suggested we go antiquing. He didn’t want to go. I told him it would be really important to me if he showed that he wanted to go. It’s not that I wanted him to go but I wanted him to want to go. My feelings were hurt and raw and as I explained how his disinterest wilts my gentle inner flower. His cool aloof responses said to me he wasn’t as invested emotionally as I was in this relationship. I’m distraught, what do I do Mitch?
-What? Huh? I just totally blacked out there for a minute.
Personally if I say so myself “Ponderances with your host, Mitch” was a smashing success. I could be an advice columnist. I already have my “Life Lessons with Mitch” posted on the Mitch Being Honest Facebook page (shameless plug I know), really how hard can it be to dole out advice? You’ll notice I never said I’d give out good advice, or helpful advice.
No need to thank me, I’m an idea man it’s what I do.
P.S. For Grandma Mitch-There you go a whole blogisode with no sexual references or innuendos. Obviously, not including this post script. Ha!