Greetings faithful readers, it’s that time of year where every website, magazine, news show etcetera does a year in review list where they go back and reflect upon the past year. Mitch Being Honest is no different. Without further delay or fanfare, I give you:
The Mitch Being Honest 2012 Crap I’ve Learned About Relationships In No Particular Order Year In Review.
- Breaking up with someone you’re crazy about hurts as much as getting broken up with. Thankfully, the brothers of Jim Beam and Jack Daniels will be there for you.
- The novelty of post divorce dating wears off much quicker than anticipated.
- The age difference between a 34 year old man and a 38 year old woman involved with one another, is 4 years to the man, 8-10 years for the woman.
- My newly instituted “no female friendships” rule while seen as a controversial stance by some has made my life much more drama free.
- The old saying “sex changes everything” has never rung so true before.
- A good case of smoking induced bronchitis has finally broken my habit of resuming smoking whilst recovering from breakups.
- If a relationship is starting to feel toxic, it’s because it is. And not in the good slutty Britney Spears way.
- Getting your first honest to God real blow-job at the age of 34 isn’t as awesome as you think it was going to be when you weren’t getting them. Don’t get me wrong it was still pretty damn good.
- During good times, bad times, sad times, hurting times, angry times, lonely times, okay times, confused times, all times in between, Springsteen’s music will always be there for you.
- If you need to hurt during a breakup, hurt. Holding it in just drags out the hurt. Just like flatulence.
- Your best friend, will remind you why he’s your “hetero life partner in a totally non gay way” when he says “I know you were hurting for a long time after that one* (*breakup). Things will get better someday. I love you, man.”
- When you start masturbating out of boredom, you are definitely in a rut. But I still count it as part of my cardio exercise regimen.
- In baseball and dating a batting average of .300 means solid steady production getting hits. But it also means you’re striking out 70% of the time.
- Thinking with my genitals did get me laid but it also taught me an important life lesson. I may sometimes think with my wang but ladies think with their feelings after they let you play with their lady parts. Which consequently, is the same time when most of my 2012 relationships began to circle the drain.
- Those little nagging doubts you choose to ignore in the beginning of the relationship, were nagging you for a very good reason.
- It’s not just the exes fault, you made the choice to go out with them and brought your own crap to the table.
- Don’t start/end any relationships on any major holidays. After you breakup you will just be annually reminded the exact day you started/ended that relationship.
I’m sure there is more I learned but I feel this hits the main points. Now that I’ve reflected upon the past year where do I go with this for the new year? 2012 was supposed to be the year I find my “Erica” (My TV dream woman from the show Being Erica whom I am in lust/love with). I assumed I was going to go out on some great dates, hit my groove in the dating game, date 4-5 ladies, then eventually find myself the hot, sexy, intelligent brunette woman I’ve been looking for who would become my girlfriend with some long term relationship potential. How hard could it be? I honestly, truly thought that’s how it would go.
Reality was a lot different than naive expectation. I did date a few women and seeing as I’m single again its obvious that things didn’t work out. The dating game was ebb and flow, feast and famine, floods and dry spells. I went on good, mediocre and bad dates.
When I was griping about this to Decimawho, she responded with what did I honestly expect? She said the first year out of a major relationship is a year of learning and gaining experience in new relationships, and that’s what 2012 became.
For 2013 I am going to tweak my expectations. In fact, I won’t use the word “expectations.” Here are my INTENTIONS for 2013.
- Create new healthy relationships.
- No sex with any new partners too early in the relationship, not until we have a solid foundation built.
- Trust that when it comes to meeting someone sometimes timing, serendipity, and circumstance are things I cannot control and just lets things happen as they are intended to.
And most importantly,
- Go do other things, there’s more to life than dating.