Greetings faithful readers. You’ve probably noticed a slow down in my posts as of late. This is pretty typical for me this time of year for a number of reasons:
-November and December are prime allergy and cold and flu season for me, and this year was no different. Mainly I lived on my couch in sweatpants feeling like 6lbs of shit stuffed into a 5lb sac.
-January to February there’s really not a whole lot going on. Plus, being in the middle of a Planet Hoth like winter in the middle of suburban hell, I tend to cocoon in my house with movies and books a little more than usual. When there’s sweet fuck all going in your life, there’s sweet fuck all to write about.
-The video game, Red Dead Revolver: Undead Nightmare, I got for Christmas has sucked entirely way too much of my free time. Killing hordes of zombies in the old west is just way too much fun for me to regret the lack of human contact and ensuing carpal tunnel.
-I’m putting actual honest to god effort into online dating.
Yes, that last one is the jumping off point for this blogisode. As you recall, I took a bit of a break from the online dating world after the soul bruising “Sweatpants Date.” Christmas rolled around and I learned one important delayed life lesson. Being single at Christmas sucks. It sucks almost as much as being drunk with your mom on X-mas eve while watching Die Hard as she starts to wax nostalgic after her fifth whisky screwdriver. I never noticed it my first divorced Christmas because I was working on a huge freelance writing gig right up until Christmas eve, and I had Little Mitch most of the time, I had no time to think about being divorced over the holidays.
Not this year though, I had no big projects, and with sharing custody of Little Mitch with his mom more than the year before, I had more time to myself. Then factor in I was so sick I was just at home with nothing to do but think. Too much time to think with nothing to do is never good for me. Plus, being so sick meant I was not exercising. Which, when you are bipolar and manage your moods with daily regular exercise means you got a depression bipolar downswing coming in the mail. Charlie Sheen’s bipolar gets out of whack he gets porn star girlfriends, more fame and a new tv show, I get depressed and mope like a EMO teenage girl on her first period. That’s when the self loathing starts. To sum, I felt like crap, I was loathing myself and my bipolar perceived “relationship failures” of 2012 and I just felt really, really divorced.
Finally, all my cold, flus and infections ran their course. I got well enough to ease into exercise again and my moods stabilized and I was back to my regular Mitchness.
I reflected upon 2012 and why I was so disappointed. I figured 2012 was the year I would date, and end up in a healthy relationship, that simple and straightforward, right? Nope. Didn’t work out that way. Me brooding, blaming and loathing myself isn’t going to change that. What was the common denominator for me in 2012 and the relationships that didn’t pan out? Me. Not only me, but my expectations. I realized a good portion of my after the fact disappointment in myself of how my relationships failed in 2012 was that I had naive, preconceived static expectations about how the dating year would pan out. I concluded I can’t change the people I dated, or how the relationships faltered but I can change my expectations. I concluded that when it comes to relationships and dating nothing is going to change if I don’t change it. It was time to get back in the dating saddle again.
I decided that in 2013 I will take the mentality of a closing pitcher in baseball. These guys are known as “closers”, they come in in the last innings of a game, throw strikes and hopefully end the game with a win. “Closers” are known for having short memories if they throw a bad pitch, or the ability to shake off adversity, and move on. That’s the mentality I need to take. No more brooding, blaming or loathing. When it comes to dating, my mentality is that of a closing pitcher, short memory, shake off the losses and one bad pitch is just one bad pitch forget it and move onto the next one.
So far, 2013 is off to a good dating start, with three dates with three different lovely ladies. Dating, like baseball can be a long gruelling up and down season, you just need to shake off the bad pitches and keep going one pitch at a time. Play ball!