Mitch’s Texts Devoid of Context Vol. 5

“Nothing worse than lame sex. You end up thinking ‘I could have stayed clean and had a PBJ sandwich instead and been 100x more  satisfied.'”

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Life Lessons With Mitch Lesson 249

Gramma Mitch: “Dear, are we bringing dinner tonight when we come over?”

Mitch: “Mother, I think it’s cute that after all these years you still ask that question when we already know the answer.”

Gramma Mitch: “It’s Pops (Stepdad), he makes me call and ask. Maybe one day we’re hoping that you’ll actually offer to cook for us.”

Mitch: “I like how we both keep up the charade of this dance, Mother.”

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Mitch’s Texts Devoid of Context Vol. 4

“You’re having feelings vagina?”

Mood swings, depression and rules greatsanddunes

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Life Lessons With Mitch Lesson 248

The grocery store cashier asked me “How would you like to pay?”

I replied, “Through the majesty of dance!”

In return,  the cashier gave me an apathetic blank stare. I thought it was funny you ironic soulless hipster register jockey.

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Mitch’s Texts Devoid of Context Vol. 3

“That’s why I plan ahead and put my masturbation in my calendar on my phone. That way I feel like I’ve accomplished something productive.”

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Return Of The Lone Wolf Phase: AKA See You In 2 Weeks.

Greeting Faithful Readers,

I have come to the realization that Mitch is suffering from a good old fashioned case of dating burnout. Being that my blog is about my take on what’s currently going on in my life, the blog has evolved into a dating blog of sorts.

I have decided to take a 2 week break from dating to recharge and regain some sense of self and faith in creating new relationships or more succinctly I’m entering another one of my semi-famous “lone wolf phases.” This break also means that I will be taking a 2 week break from blogging about dating.

See you all again in a couple weeks. -Mitch.

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Life Lesson With Mitch Lesson 247

THE UN-DATEABLE BY MEANS OF NORMALCY NUT PUNCH COMPLIMENT: 

A  contradictory phenomenon that occurs when you ask your friends to set you up with any single friends they may know, but they can’t think of anyone for you as they don’t recommend any of  those friends as they are very, very single for various unhealthy reasons, as they don’t want to get you and your normal, mentally stable self mixed up with that person’s crazy ass.

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Life Lessons With Mitch Lesson 246

One of the great things about single fatherhood is that you never really have to fully grow up. I refuse to become one of those middle of the road bland parents who think their personality had to end the day their kid was born.

A great afternoon Little Mitch recovering from the flu, spent playing video game women’s wrestling for the championship we made… and the gag NEVER got old.

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Mitch’s Texts Devoid Of Context. Vol. 2.

“What??? GASP! A relationship with a magician, DIDN’T work out? I’m shocked. ”

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Life Lessons With Mitch Lesson 245

I really enjoy listening to sex advice podcasts. Listening to other people who have REAL sexual problems reminds me that the only “problem” I currently have is I’m going on 5 months without sexing anyone up.

Which, in reality,  is not so much a problem as it is a very temporary minor inconvenience.

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